About four days before this third chemo I get a head cold. I’m sure it was either from the hospital, the ER, all the stress or a lovely combo of each. So I am absolutelymichelle-oatmeal terrified that Michelle is going to catch my cold because she’s not supposed to be around sick people. We are using hand sanitizer every five seconds, but sure enough she gets a cold and I freak out! I do not want the chemo postponed or her white blood count to drop again. Turns out she can do chemo with a head cold unless she gets a fever. Every time she takes her temperature I am petrified! Kind of like how a cat feels when they see an object out of place. Thank god her temperature stayed normal and it was a go.

We get to the chemo center before seven in the morning and we’re both very nervous about this next treatment since the last one went so well. They put us in station one which is right next to the nurse’s station and that was scary and comforting all at the same time. Like just in case something happens again everyone is close. I go into this dark room and all of a sudden I have a PTSD experience. Did not want to do this again and I can’t even imagine what Michelle is feeling? We get this amazing nurse Cindy, who promises us that they’re going to have a handle on this and watch everything that goes on and do this chemo very slowly. She keeps giving us the universal sign for, “eyes on you,” gesture which I loved. She made us feel secure which we needed. So they start Michelle with a new chemo and there was no problem with that. The rooms are not big and I’m constantly in the nurses way trying to move, standing up whenever I can, moving to a corner to make myself small, well smaller than I am which would be a newborn.

OK, now it’s time for the chemo that gave her the allergic reaction last time. They were going to do it very slowly and take all precautions. So they started, she orders some oatmeal, she’s eating, I’m talking to my sister, everything was going along great and then about 15 minutes into it, she starts coughing, her face turns red, her lips become swollen and it’s happening again. And once again one nurse after another after another comes in and they give her oxygen and while this is happening I feel myself ready to faint. I’m feeling really lightheaded and queasy and I think anytime I’m just going to drop. (Just what was needed). I get myself to breathe and maintain and stay upright. Luckily they caught it early so it wasn’t like the last time and she was already stabilizing. We just had to wait until her blood pressure came back to normal to leave. An hour later we’re out of there not knowing what the next step is. We do get an appointment for the doctor the next day, which was lucky because we need to ask,


To be continued…

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