So we get to the chemo center at 3:30 in the afternoon, which we never do. We always like to get a morning appointment, but that didn’t happen this time. Everyone kept pink-slipperssaying how busy it was that day. They were so busy, busy, busy and so I knew we were going to wait, wait, and wait. Usually when a place is so busy it means it’s a success. When a chemo center is beyond capacity it’s a sad sign there’s a cancer epidemic that is not going away. We waited 45 min to get into not a room, but a short infusion space, which is kind of like in a hallway. So this chemo was supposed to last two hours Ha! No, there was a mistake and they said it’s going to be longer because they want to do it very slowly. So they decided because it’s going to be longer we would get a room. An upgrade! So we’re in the room chemo starts and it’s acid flashback time. Because this chemo can leave blisters on hands and feet, they wrap Michelle’s little feet and hands in ice packs for two hours.  And we sit and sit once again and five hours later we’re done. Time flies when your counting the drips of the IV bags. Luckily no craziness involved and the nurse was so kind. It was 9 pm by the time we got out of there and boy did we want to get the hell out of there! Two days of chemo 13 hours in all. But I shouldn’t complain because it’s going to help Michelle get her life back.


So the next day Michelle’s side effects were immediate. There’s a very rare side effect of hearing loss and ringing in the ears and sure enough she gets ringing in the ears immediately and she’s sick as a dog and nauseous and everything tastes like sour milk. She supposed to drink eight glasses of water a day. It’s very important for her kidneys, but she can’t get down any water because it makes her sick. Everything makes her I hope I don’t make her sick but I might at this point. The doctor calls and is concerned because of the side effects that she’s having and wondering if they might have to tweak the chemo again. Are you fucking kidding me? She’s going to get a hearing test now to make sure that she doesn’t have any hearing lost. She has no energy, she doesn’t want to eat and I feel so incredibly helpless. I can’t help her!!! The only thing I can do is try to support her and be positive but it’s so hard to see the woman I love so much going through this. My anxiety has taken over! I am weak! I mean this is the same woman, me, who was swimming far out in the ocean with an ex of mine who was not the swimmer I was. When a very big waterspout shot up out of the water all I thought was, WHALE!! I took off swimming to shore leaving my poor ex behind to be eaten! I’m great in stress situations!

Happy Thanksgiving!

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